


But Don't Blame Me For Hating It

by talkativelock



Series: Hogwarts 'Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Supernatural/Harry Potter, Unbeta'd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-12
Updated: 2012-12-12
Packaged: 2017-11-20 23:49:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/591069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talkativelock/pseuds/talkativelock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Cas started to pull the curtain closed around his mattress Dean couldn't help but wonder how things had ended up this way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But Don't Blame Me For Hating It

**Author's Note:**

> This work is completely unbeta'd, so be kind. I reread it like ten times, so hopefully it's not too bad.
> 
> Also, not as angsty as the summary makes it out to be. I just couldn't think of anything else.

Dean was pretending to sleep when Cas finally made his way into the room, timing his breaths just off of Benny's loud snores to avoid suspicion. He breathed in deeply though his nose as Benny breathed softly out on the other side of the room and watched as Cas's silhouette silently climbed into his four-poster bed. It was an action Dean knew from seven years of experience only Cas could do without making the frame squeak shrilly. Benny's snores echoed around the room and Dean pretended to sleep, even though he knew that Cas knew he was still awake.

As Cas started to pull the curtain closed around his mattress Dean couldn't help but wonder how things had ended up this way.

…

11 years old and lost, Dean Winchester had checked every compartment on the Hogwarts Express and was getting fed up. He came up to the last compartment and prayed to whatever god wizards were supposed to have that it would be empty.

It wasn't. Inside was an 11-year-old Castiel Novak, his older brother Gabriel, and his cousin Balthazar. Dean didn't know it at the time, but when the two older boys pulled him in to sit with them it was the beginning.

…

“I don't know, maybe they won't sort him Balth.”

“I could see that. It's not like he's cunning like we are. Poor Cassie couldn't lie to save his life, can you Castiel?”

“And he's not particularly brave.”

“He's no smarter than Anna was at that age.”

“And it's not like he works that hard.”

“That doesn't leave many options Cassie.”

“It looks like you'll be going home after the sorting.”

“That's happened, you know.”

“Don't listen to them.” Castiel told Dean out of the corner of his mouth, blue eyes fixed out the window. It was good advice, but Dean thought Castiel should probably take it himself. He was white as a sheet.

“No, do listen to us. It's very important that you know.” Gabriel said seriously. “If you fail to be sorted you'll be sent home. Do you want to be sent home, Dean-o?”

Dean thought of his father's disapproving look when he got his letter. He thought of Sammy already showing magical signs and needing someone at Hogwarts to look after him when he made it there. He shook his head. “I'm not going home.” He told the upperclassmen firmly.

They glanced at each other in surprise and Dean looked over to Castiel. The other boy was staring at him now, eyes wide and blue. Without giving himself permission he was speaking.

“What about you, Cas?”

“No.” Cas replied, confidence swelling at the nickname Dean didn't mean to give. “I'm not going home either.”

…

When Dean woke up Cas was already gone, his bed perfectly made as always. There was an empty feeling in the pit of Dean's stomach as he went about his Saturday that even the presence of bacon at the table in the great hall couldn't dampen. It just reminded him of that one time in third year when Cas decided he was going to be vegetarian. It lasted two months, which was impressive considering how often Dean made sure to dig into hamburgers while making obscene noises around him. In hindsight, he was totally asking for that hex, though at the time he was pissed.

By the time he was back to the common room (“Password?” “Bugger off.” “That's not the password, Winchester.” “Dragons blood.” “Better.”) he had worked himself into a very foul mood. Victor tried to get him to play exploding snap and only got a cold glare in response. He headed straight for the dormitory. When he finished climbing the stairs he flung the door open as violently as he could just to make himself feel better and came face to face with Cas, wide blue eyes and all.

…

“I hate my life.” Dean flopped himself bodily onto the sofa, sock feet landing on the book Cas had open in his lap. To his credit, the other boy didn't jump at all. Dean threw his head back and let out a loud whining sound, catching sight of a few third year girls giving him dirty looks from across the common room. He shot them a wink.

“Hello Dean.” Cas said, and to anyone else he would have sounded patient but Dean could hear the way his friend's voice jerked at just the right time in irritation. Looking down his body at the other boy confirmed that, yes, Cas was giving him an impatient look to go with his almost patient tone of voice.

“OWLs are kicking my ass.” Dean complained, because he knew Cas would listen.

The other boy sighed, pulling his book out from under Dean's feet. “Yes, that happens when you refuse to study.”

“I wish I could get Sammy to do 'em for me.” Dean sighed back. “He's so much smarter than I am, damn Ravenclaw.”

“Dean.” Cas really sounded irritated now, closing his book and setting it down on the arm of the sofa. “You are plenty smart enough to pass your OWLs with all Os, if you so choose.”

Dean wiggled his toes in Cas's lap but Cas ignored the excellent opportunity to give Dean a footrub. “Will you spend all day cooped up reading for the next two years if I flunk out of Hogwarts, Cas?”

“You're not going to flunk out of Hogwarts Dean, don't be ridiculous.”

“But if I did.” Dean pushed, rubbing at Cas's belly with his toes. “Will you find another best friend and go on study dates for hours and forget how to have fun?”

Cas finally glanced down at his feet and Dean wiggled his toes more insistently. Cas ignored them in favor of casting his blue gaze around the room. “I think Kevin Tran from Ravenclaw would love to have company in the library.”

Dean grinned. “Cas, he's not even in our house.”

“It is not of import.”

Rolling his eyes at that, Dean nudged Cas's stomach again to call the other Gryffindor's attention back to him. “So you and Kevin would live happily ever after surrounded by books?”

“Dean, you're not going to fail your OWLs,” Cas's voice rumbled with certainty and sincerity, “and even if you did I wouldn't dream of replacing your friendship.”

…

Dean swallowed past the lump that rose in his throat at the sight of his best friend - ex-best friend? - and managed to croak out a weak, “Hey.”

“Hello Dean.” Cas's voice was just as deep and gravelly as it had been last week, laced with tired resignation and Dean had never felt more like shit. Cas had bags under his eyes and his tie was on backwards. Dean wondered if he looked any better.

“You, uh, doing okay?” Dean managed to ask.

“I am well.” Cas said and then he just stared. There was a long pause and Dean thought maybe he should say something else, something like an apology, but the words wouldn't form.

He cleared his throat and opened his mouth to say something, anything to break the awkward tension, but Cas beat him to it.

“I have to go. I'm meeting Meg in the library.”

And Dean was stung. “Meg Masters, Cas, really?” He blurted out, because he never thought Meg would be the one to replace him.

Cas's eyes were like frost when he replied. “Yes. She is most sympathetic.” And Dean wished there was some excuse he could give to make Meg seem all wrong, because she was all wrong for Cas. Cas belonged with Dean.

“But she's a Slytherin.” He blurted and Cas stilled. Instantly Dean knew that was a bad thing to say. He wished he could take it back, reach into the past and clasp his hand over his own mouth, better yet take a time turner and stop himself from ever entering the dormitory. “Shit, I didn't-”

“Two of my brothers were Slytherin, Dean.” Cas reminded him, talking over him with a voice cold and dangerous. “I don't know why I expected you to remember.”

“Cas-” Dean started, an apology or some sort of explanation on his lips, he's not sure which, but Cas shouldered past him and out of the room.

For a long moment Dean just stood in their dormitory, staring at the place where Cas was standing. He slowly walked over to his bed, only to realize that Cas was standing between Dean's four poster and his own, a place he didn't need to be to go from his bed to the door. For all he knew Cas could have been waiting for him.

Dean threw himself onto his bed and buried his face in his pillow, wishing very much that Cas had just hexed him instead of walking out. Dean didn't sleep long, dreams of Cas causing him to wake up with an empty feeling.

…

Dean normally spent breaks at home, helping his Dad and visiting Sammy, who was proving every day that he was going to Hogwarts as soon as he turned eleven. But the Winchesters didn't celebrate Easter and Cas had invited him to visit for the week of break that they had. After sending Cas's pretty snowy owl, Grace, home and getting a response in the affirmative, Dean packed his stuff and hoped he didn't somehow offend the Novaks.

Michael, of all people, was there to pick them up from the train station. The ride itself had been an adventure as Gabriel insisted that they sit with the family and Cas had a wide extended family attending Hogwarts. Raphael and Zachariah, two of Cas's seventh year Slytherin cousins, kept throwing him dirty looks. His older sister, Naomi, was a Ravenclaw sixth year and she was stern and aloof, then Cas's cousin Anna, a fifth year Hufflepuff who spent a good amount of the time lecturing on anything she could think of, and her younger brother Balthazar who was in Slytherin with Gabriel (and neither of them seemed to be taking their fourth year seriously). Then there was the other cousin, Uriel, who was a grade above them as a third year Hufflepuff and just hated Dean, but he always had.

By the time Dean stumbled off the train he was glad to see Cas's strict ex-Head Boy of an older brother, if only because he easily whipped the rabble of extended family into shape. From there was a portkey to a small mansion in Godric's Hallow and damn look at that house what does Cas's dad do again?

Oh, right, he works for the ministry. High up in the ministry.

Sometimes Dean forgot that Cas was from a rich pureblood family. He tried not to think about how his father was a muggle mechanic as Cas lead him into the house.

It looked like the mansion actually just had enough rooms for all the branches of the family, no more and no less, and Dean thought it should have shocked them that they all lived together but it didn't at all. As Cas lead him around he was almost surprised, but not really, to find that there were no extra pointless rooms that were named things like 'great room' and 'ballroom' and such. There was a sitting room, a kitchen, and a dining room with a huge oak table. There was also a parlor that Cas told him they weren't allowed to enter.

Besides that there seemed to be a bathroom every third door and as they walked through the halls Cas pointed out everyone's room in turn. “Gabriel's room and Balthazar's room. Merlin knows why Michael allows them to have rooms next to each other. Then we have Anna's room and Raphael's room and then my room.”

The last two words were said with a shyness Cas had rarely exhibited since they had met on the train almost two years ago. The smaller boy pushed open the door to reveal a room that almost made Dean laugh out loud. It was so very Cas; everything was either white, blue, or red and it was all clean and tidy, like an inspection was going to happen at any moment. There was a bookshelf filled with titles both magical and non-magical and a desk stacked with parchment bearing Cas's precise and flowing script. Grace had a perch by the window where she was dozing and the bed was four-poster, just like in the dormitories at school. On the bedside table was a picture of Dean and Cas on the train that Gabriel had snapped on the way back to Kings Cross at the end of their first year, both boys almost touching in the picture, glancing at each other in worry. It was back when they thought they might not be as close after a summer apart. With the help of Grace they only grew closer.

“It's great Cas.” Dean said with a grin and Cas seemed to relax slightly.

“I'm glad you like it. I'll, um, get another mattress brought up and you can sleep in here if you want.”

Dean grinned back easily. “Sounds perfect.” Cas relaxed all the way, moving to sit on his bed. Dean followed. “So where's your Dad?”

It seemed like the wrong thing to say. Cas tensed up again and Dean frowned. “Father isn't around very much. His work is very important. Michael takes care of things in his absence.”

Dean sat on the bed next to Cas, not too close but close enough that he could reach his friend if he needed to. “What about your Mom?” Cas shook his head.

“I do not know her. She may be dead or just gone. No one ever told me.”

“What about Balthazar's parents? Or Raphael and Uriel's?”

Cas shrugged. “They are also not around much.”

Dean whistled. “So it's just kids then? And the twins have to take care of everyone?” Cas shook his head again.

“No, just Michael. Lucifer left after he got his NEWT scores. I don't know where he went, no one will tell me.”

“That blows.” Dean said, laying back on the bed. After a moment of hesitation Cas did the same.

It was silent for a moment before Cas spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “It's okay though. I love my family, but they have nothing on you.”

Dean cast around his head for a reply but before he could come up with something there was a knock at the door. He jumped up, feeling like he was caught doing something he shouldn't even though the thought was ridiculous. He hadn't even broken anything.

“Yes?” Cas called, sitting up more slowly.

“Can I come in?” Called a small, unfamiliar voice. Cas rolled his eyes and looked to Dean. Dean shrugged, then nodded.

“Yes, alright Samandriel.”

And that was how Dean met Cas's only younger sibling.

…

“Castiel is very angry at you.” Alfie said softly, slipping onto the bench across from Dean in the great hall for lunch. Dean just scowled up at his favorite of Cas's wacky family (besides Anna but that was for another reason entirely, oh, and Cas himself but that goes without saying).

“Samandriel Alphonse Novak, you are not a Gryffindor get back to your house table.”

Alfie ignored him in a way only a Novak could. “He called you an 'insufferable and obtuse coward'. Also, he said you were being housest again.”

“I'm not housest!” Dean growled back. “I mean, look at my extensive dating history.”

Alfie smiled, just a little twitch of the lips that reminded Dean so much of Cas it hurt. “You don't date.”

“I was dating Lisa two months ago. And she's a Hufflepuff. Two to zero, Winchester.”

The youngest Novak's eyes sparkled with amusement and they were just a shade lighter than Cas's. Dean damned Alfie to wizard hell for having the almost exact same eyes and hair as Cas. They looked so damn similar out of the corner of his eye that Dean wanted to throw up at the sight of him.

“How pissed is he really?” Dean blurted before he could stop himself. Alfie tipped his head to the side like Cas did when Dean did something particularly interesting. Dean's insides hurt.

After a moment of thinking about it Alfie said “Let's just say I pity anyone who tries to tease him in the halls.”

Dean groaned, dropping his head to the table with a thud. A hallow thud. Maybe he really didn't have a brain.

…

“Cas, what do I do? I think I might be in you-know-what. You've got to help me.”

Cas looked up over his book and raised his eyebrows at Dean. Dean knew he looked ridiculous, pushed up against the door so no one could get in and probably white as a sheet.

“Hello, Dean. And I don't know what.”

Dean crossed over to Cas's bed in a few quick strides while Cas put down his book slowly. Dean was sitting on the edge of Cas's bed in an instant.

“Come on, you know what.”

“I really don't, Dean.”

It occurred to him that Cas probably didn't know, considering that's how oblivious he could be sometimes. Dean leaned forward and mumbled the answer, face warm.

Cas's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “I'm sorry, what?”

“I think I might be in love with Cassie.” Dean hissed.

“Love?” Cas echoed and Dean shushed him, pushing a hand over his best friends face and casting his eyes around as though he expected the entire Quidditch team to appear and mock his lack of masculinity.

That kind of shit mattered to Dean. He was fourteen and fragile. So sue him.

“Dean.” Cas rumbled against his hand, thought it sounded more like “mmmeen”. The vibration of Cas's recently dropped voice made Dean's palm tickle.

“Keep it down.” Dean hissed, slowly pulling his hand away from his best friend's chapped lips, trying to ignore how soft they were on his palm.

Cas raised an eyebrow, but thankfully kept his voice quiet, the low rumble prickling at Dean's spine. “Why are you panicking, Dean?”

“I don't know what to do. You have to help me.”

Cas looked blank. “Isn't this a good thing, Dean?”

“I–what–yeah, I guess–I mean no–I mean-” Dean sputtered. He stopped, cleared his throat, and tried again. “If there's anything my Dad taught me it's that if I love her she could hurt me and I don't think I could take that, you know?”

Cas brought a hand up to rub his forehead slowly as his face took on his thinking expression. “Isn't that what's beautiful about love, though? You give them the chance to hurt you and they don't? Isn't love part trust?” Cas sighed and Dean opened his mouth to protest but Cas stuck his hand out to stop him. He wasn't finished. “If you think it could be love you should go for it. After all, you deserve something good in your life, Dean.”

Dean felt his face heat up like it always did when Cas tried to tell him he deserved good things.

“Yeah, thanks Cas.” He said, looking away and trying to squish down the swirl of unknown emotions in his gut.

A month later Cassie broke up with him and Dean swore never to date again. It was a little dramatic for his first breakup, but Dean was well known for being dramatic and the girl had broken his heart, come on, give him some leeway.

…

“I'm just so tired of this shit Sammy.” Dean groaned from beneath his folded arms. They were in the library and his brother was studying (because Ravenclaws didn't have anything better to do) while Dean moped over the Potions essay he was supposed to be writing. The NEWTs were just around the corner and Dean couldn't bring himself to care. “Why can't he just be over it already.”

“Dean, you freaked out on him.” The fourteen year old pointed at his brother with the feather of his quill. “He doesn't have to get over it until you apologize, and even then it's still a toss up.”

Dean picked his head up and threw his hands in the air. “But I didn't mean it I was just surprised is all.”

“You insulted pretty much his entire identity instead of being supportive. I don't think it matters if you were surprised.”

“He was lip-locking with Crowley of all people in our place-”

“-the Room of Requirement isn't yours, Dean-”

“-what was I supposed to do? Buy them a fucking fruit basket?”

Sam peered at Dean through his massively overgrown bangs and gave him a rather spectacular bitchface. “While that would have been strange I'm sure it would have been better than losing your shit.”

Dean groaned and buried his face in his arms again. “I don't even care if he's gay or whatever.” He told the darkness made by his skin. “I just wish it wasn't let's-make-a-deal-Crowley.” Dean sometimes wished it was him, but he wasn't going to say that aloud for the first time to his little brother of all people.

To anyone else that would have been unintelligible, but Sam knew his brother well. “Then why don't you, I don't know, tell him that.”

Dean grumbled something almost impossible to hear and Sam dropped his quill in over-dramatized horror.

“You said what to Cas this morning?”

“I know.” Dean whined. “I don't know what I was thinking. This shouldn't be that hard.”

Sam sounded like me might be laughing. “I don't think he's going to speak to you ever again. You're screwed.”

“You're no help, bitch.”

“Jerk.”

…

Dean winked as Chastity swayed by in the Three Broomsticks. She waved back flirtatiously, an easy fifth year looking up to upperclassmen in all the right ways, and Dean elbowed Cas.

“See, you could totally tap that.”

“I'm not really comfortable with the idea, Dean.” Cas fidgeted next to him and Dean thought that the other boy really needed to get laid, or at least suck some face. Sixteen years of repression needed to be let out and Chastity was just the girl Cas would need. Dean would know.

Okay, maybe not Chastity. The idea of Cas having his seconds actually didn't appeal to him much now that he thought about it.

“Not her, then.” Dean responded, but then he noticed her pulling her cousin, Tessa, over to their table. “Unless, of course, she falls into your lap,” He finished quickly just as the girls reached earshot, “Ladies!”

Tessa's smile was tight, unlike Chastity's glowing one. “Hey, Dean.” Chastity cooed.

“Chastity.” He smirked back. She turned her hungry eyes towards Cas.

“Who's your friend?”

Dean grinned. The stars were aligning. Seconds or not, Chastity was falling right into Cas's lap and Dean only wanted to help the process along. He leaned forward, turning the flirting up to full wattage.

“This is Cas. Cas, say hello to the lovely ladies.” Dean glanced over his shoulder when there wasn't an immediate response to see that Cas looked green. Very green. “Cas?”

Chastity, apparently, didn't care that Dean's best friend looked like he was about to vomit butterbeer all over the table. “You're super cute.” She giggled.

“Ah, yes, thank you.” Cas looked lost and sick and Dean's stomach pinched in worry.

“You okay man?” Dean asked, voice low in an effort to cut the girls out of the conversation. He saw Tessa roll her eyes but he didn't give a damn.

Cas looked pleading. “Dean, I shouldn't be here.”

“You need to calm down, man.”

“Dean.” Cas's low voice sounded as though he was at a breaking point, all scratch and no rumble. Dean nodded without intending to.

“Yeah, alright, we'll get out of here, calm down.”

When he turned back to the girls he found that Tessa was already standing and tugging at Chastity's sleeve. “Let's go.”

“But-”

“Yeah, it was nice to talk to you.” Dean said loudly, putting just enough force into it to sound uninterested. It did the trick. With a dirty look Chastity was gone and Dean turned back to Cas.

“You okay? You need to go outside?”

“I'm fine, Dean.” Cas breathed, already looking better. “I'm just not comfortable with attempting to proposition girls.”

“It's alright.” Dean smiled. “Don't worry about it.”

“I mean, I barely know them.” Cas forced out in a rush, still nervous and green around the edges. Dean laughed.

“I said don't worry about it. We'll figure out another way to make you loosen up.” Cas looked relieved.

Dean really should have figured it out then.

…

Dean had been ready to explode since he caught Cas with Crowley's tongue down his throat last week. It was a miracle he hadn't hexed anyone into the next decade yet.

And really, Crowley of all people? Why couldn't he have told Dean? Why didn't he trust his best friend? Dean would have understood and started trying to figure out Cas's taste in guys so he could get the other boy laid finally. Maybe he could have been Cas's type. The point was that Cas didn't have to go to Crowley. Unless Crowley was his taste in guys, in which case at some point Dean was going to have a talk with Cas about guarding his heart better. If they ever talked again.

The point was that Dean was steaming in guilt and self-pity. He was ready to snap at any moment. He should have known it would be Jake Talley who pushed that final button. At Quidditch practice, in the locker room of all things.

Jake was the new chaser on the team. He was Sam's age and as kind a kid as any, or at least Dean had thought so at the time. Apparently he was stupid. And homophobic. The fucker.

“So I hear you're not friends with that faggot anymore. Did he try to feel you up or something?”

There was a moment of tense silence, the other team members freezing automatically. No one had ever gotten away with badmouthing Cas, not since Dean was on the team and especially not since Dean became captain.

Really, Dean should have sent him out or gotten him kicked off the team. He could have made him fly laps until all the kid saw were blurs. Instead, Dean saw red. He drew his wand and physically launched himself at the fourth year.

At some point a pretty nasty curse from Jake's wand knocked him out, though he thought Jo, Victor, and Benny might have been trying to break them up before everything went dark.

…

“Dean!” Cas sounded horrified, and rightfully so. Dean felt like shit and he was sure he looked like shit too.

Dean flopped down on the grass next to Cas and tried not to move his face too much.

“What happened?” The other third year demanded, fingers hovering over Dean's purple skin.

Dean half-shrugged and tried for aloof and cool, staring out at the lake instead of looking at Cas. “Nothing really. Got in a fight. Nurse Moseley woudn't heal it though. She said it served me right.” Then Dean had to stop talking because moving his jaw hurt.

“What on Earth possessed you to get in a fight?” Cas still sounded panicked, his voice cracking in the way that all thirteen year olds have to deal with and Dean felt his spirits drop a little. Winning fights was supposed to be cool.

Dean pouted with another little half-shrug and tried to keep up his happy, cool demeanor. “I didn't like his attitude is all.”

Cas went from worried to furious in no time at all. “That's it? You got in a fight over someone's attitude?”

“That's not all of it.” Dean mumbled to himself, looking at Cas without turning his head.

Cas's blue eyes flashed cold.“Well then what is it?”

“Walker called you a freak that's why I did it.” Dean snapped. Cas eyes went big and round, then softened.

“You don't have to do that for me, Dean. I can take care of myself.”

Dean gave another half-shrug, this time looking away to save himself the embarrassment. “Course I do, Cas. You're my best friend and there's no one better.”

Cas's mouth twitched in that quiet smile that was more about the eyes then anything else.

“You're my best friend too, Dean.”

…

Dean woke slowly, the darkness around him slowly solidifying until he understood it as the inside of his eyelids. Dean let out a slow sigh, wishing he could go back to sleep. He hadn't slept that well all week, mostly because of Cas and Crowley and stupid dreams with Cas's chapped lips against his own. He tried to will himself back to sleep for a moment, but it didn't work. With a resigned grumble he opened his eyes.

He was not surprised to see the hospital wing or to see Jake Talley passed out across the ward. He was, however, surprised to see Cas sitting by his bedside watching him, just like he used to do in the dormitories all the time when they were best friends. Insomnia was stupid.

Dean opened his mouth. He intended to apologize or explain himself or ask what was going on but what came out was; “Dude, you gotta stop watching me sleep.”

Cas's lips picked up at the corners just slightly, his eyes warming in that special way Cas smiles and Dean couldn't help but notice that Cas didn't seem nearly as stressed as he had last time Dean had seen him. The thought crossed his mind that maybe Cas had finally gotten laid and it depressed him more than it should have.

“Hello, Dean.” Cas rumbled and Dean's heart and stomach switched places.

Carefully, Dean hoisted himself to a sitting position weary for lasting damage. Surprisingly, there was none. Either Nurse Moseley patched him up real good or Jake was shitty in a fight. Cas watched him, head tilted to the side in that's slightly confused observation mode he had and Dean found himself asking; “Why are you here?”

He winced at that. Real smooth Dean Winchester.

Cas frowned lightly. “Do you not want me here? I can leave if you-”

“No!” Dean interrupted, reaching out towards Cas to make sure the other teen didn't leave. Pain shot up his ribs. There, he found the injuries. Dean winced, hand coming up to hold his side even though logically he knew that wouldn't help.

“Dean.” Cas sounded worried, his eyebrows brought together in concern. “You should lay down.”

Dean ignored him. The pain was fading anyway. “I didn't mean it that way, Cas.” Dean searched blue eyes with his own green ones. They were as patent and as non-judgmental as ever so he pushed his luck. “I just thought, you know,” He swallowed and pressed on. “last time I was awake you kinda hated me.”

Cas's lips twitched up in his own personal brand of a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. The bright blue windows-to-the-soul remained sad. “I could never hate you, Dean.”

For reasons that Dean didn't want to think too hard about some of the stress leaked out of his shoulders and he let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding. There was a moment of silence as Dean sagged under the relief that came with Cas's presence, when he wasn't cutting Dean's insides up with his angry laser blue eyes.

“Cas, I'm sorry.” Dean broke the silence, not looking up to see his friends expression. “I didn't mean what I said and I shouldn't have freaked out on you like that. It was stupid.”

The silence that came from Cas in response made Dean nervous. After a long moment he looked up to see that Cas was watching him, waiting. It wasn't until Dean met his eyes that Cas spoke.

“Why did you freak out, Dean?”

Dean's mouth went dry and his fists unconsciously clenched in the bedsheets. He looked away from Cas again and in a moment of panic induced clarity Dean couldn't help but think about how funny it was that Dean had always considered himself the braver one of the two because he was more outgoing and Cas was uncomfortable with social interaction, but when it came to talking about anything important it was Cas who could look people in the eye and tell the truth.

“I didn't like the idea of you and Crowley,” Dean surged all at once, his mouth running on autopilot as he glared at the white of the sheets, “that guy is bad news, Cas. He's no good and he would only hurt you. I mean, unless you were using him but that's not really your style. At least I don't think it's your style, I mean, you never really talk about your style. But why him, Cas? Why Crowley? He's a bastard and you know it and I know you don't like him so why would you go to someone like him when you could have-you could do so much better Cas.”

There was a moment of silence and Dean knew that Cas was waiting for him to look up at him again. But before he did he had one more thing to say. He intended to say it in a rush, just like everything else, but it came out broken and soft instead. “I just don't get why you told him instead of me. Don't you trust me?”

“Dean.” Cas sounded impatient and when Dean looked up Cas leaned in. For a nerdy dude he had always been able to loom with just his presence alone. Dean's heart was beating so fast he thought it would break out of his chest. “I commissioned Crowley to teach me to kiss so that I could impress you.”

Dean's brain short-circuited. “You what?”

Cas sighed. “I commissioned Crowley to-”

“I heard you the first time.” Dean scrubbed over his face with his hand. “Why?”

This time Cas rolled his eyes. “To impress you.”

Dean's stomach fluttered. “Me? Why?”

“Dean.” Cas was using that special voice he only used when he thought Dean was being spectacularly stupid. “I love you.”

“You...” Dean trailed off, his brain not quite catching up to the conversation. He searched Cas's eyes for the real answer.

Cas stared back, eyes wide and blue and way too honest. “Am in love with you, yes.”

“Oh.” Dean's brain supplied. Cas, to his credit, looked amused. Then, before Dean could blink, Cas leaned the rest of the way forward to press his lips against Deans.

Cas's lips were soft and chapped, almost exactly like Dean had been dreaming for the last week. He could feel the spot where Cas bit his own lip when studying and the supernatural prickly-softness of the stubble that had started growing in their fifth year. At first it was just a press of lips on lips, but then Cas moved and everything clicked into place.

Dean pulled a few inches away from what might have been the most chaste kiss he had ever experienced with wide green eyes. Cas's face fell, looking rejected, but before he could move too far away Dean grabbed his face, ignoring the twinge in his ribs as he did so, and held him in place.

“Just give me a second, okay?”

Cas nodded in his hands, expression moving from rejection to watchfulness as Dean finally finished processing everything that had happened.

Cas was learning to kiss in order to impress Dean when he finally made his move. Cas was in love with him. Cas had been in love with him. Cas had kissed him.

Most of all, it hurt to see Cas kiss Crowley because Cas is Dean's. Dean can't go without Cas. Dean loves Cas.

This time it was Dean who kissed Cas. Cas gasped and made a noise of pleased surprise low in his throat that made Dean's spine tingle as he chased the heat that Cas's now open mouth released. Cas pushed back and what could have been a very nice make-out session with his best friend was cut off by pain in Dean's ribs. He hissed jerking away and clutching at his side.

“Dean.” Cas was worried again and a happy warmth bloomed across Dean's chest. He brushed Cas's worry off with another quick kiss, because he could do that now. He could do that forever.

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a 'series' that is just basically a whole bunch of shorts in this 'verse. I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Also, if you have any questions about why they are in the houses they are in don't hesitate to ask and I'll explain my reasoning.


End file.
